senseless

what happened in maguindanao yesterday is purely evil... and as a matter of fact senseless... i wonder how the minds of these people conceive such actions... in an obvious state, who would take the lives of defenseless and clearly non-aggressive women out to file a certificate of candidacy to challenge the incumbent politician... in an obvious state, the incumbent politician has not issued any statement (admittance, denial, or the standard "we will investigate and bring justice to these criminals") regarding incidents within his own backyard... in an obvious state, a presidents' absence of political will to arrest and persecute the characters of this senseless violence...
i wonder how someone would ask his/her God for forgiveness on this... one can convince the whole world that he/she didn't lift a finger on this, but can that person convince himself/herself and his/her God?
a life-giver lost her life to the very people given life by their mothers... how can i even convince myself to forgive these people...

a conversation

"Do you believe in God?"

"Yes I do" I answered. "Why do you ask?" I shot back.

"Do you really believe that your God can save you?"

"Of course I do, What kind of question is that?" I insisted.

"If so then jump from this tall building and believe that you wont die and your God or His angels will save you"

"Ah... I've heard that one before, and I can still remember the answer..." I responded.

But then I remember I'm not JC. Damn, How would I... How could I...

I realized that i have heard that questions before and i know the answer but it was never directed to me. Not until now...

"Well, I don't think that is what God wants me to do." I reasoned out.

"Im pretty sure that if I jump on that building I be will saved, if not my physical form... then definitely my soul..." whew, nice one.

"But God doesn't want me to do that, He wants me to spread His words... and His love."

"There are already so many people doing that."

Whoa, I wonder where do he get his persistence.

"And I'm one of them..." I said, smiling sheepishly... I knew I have won the battle, but the war is still far from over...

then silence....

sunscreen...

Pray and Love... could be interchangeable but one will not survive without the other... Some people may call their God differently, respect it...

sunscreen without the sun can do damage

Here's my own version of Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen

Shyness can be mistaken as aggressiveness. Being quiet does not necessarily means agreeing to something. We think that everything we do will eventually make us happy, we wont. The absence of goodness is evil, evil cannot procreate itself. It's true that the world is round, sometimes it's bright and sunny, sometimes it's dim and gloomy... also sometimes, in other parts of world the sun never sets and the moon never sleeps... so forget about waiting for the world to be in your favor, do something before it does. How many times have you heard that "it's not the destination but the journey"?... how many times have you actually listen? Everyone is equal, when you hug a tree, the tree doesn't care whoever you are... Freedom, the chance to have choices or the choice to have chances...

to be continued...

at 8 weeks

Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience… I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked…. You’re not as fat as you imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out. Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen…

modern tech, same message

it's kinda cool when you are only 6 weeks old and our friends and your family from (almost) around the world knew of your existence...

be aware that you are loved, and that love, no one can take away from you...

the best is yet to come... see yah!

a father's tale

......

basically, no words to describe...

my laptop is blank, my mind is blank...

my coffee mug is empty, my brain is empty...

my mind is playing tricks on me... as if there's earthquake and my heartbeat races up...

i feel cold and sweating... and that is just knowing that it is positive...

and if the time comes that i would actually hold in my hands the miracle... then what... i dont know...

im blogging so that i would not forget, that this day, a man can be in more than two places at one time...

"... i dont need no words, to tell me about heaven... i just look at my daughter (or son) and i believe..."

~ Heaven performed by Live

pasig (part of 10 years, 10 cities series...)

i remember writing about 10 years and 10 cities...

pasig(ortigas), osaka, kobe, tokyo, manila, makati, kuala lumpur, singapore, mandaluyong and jakarta...

pasig - ortigas: 1999, along Dr. Sixto Antonio Ave. (yes, the same street in the Eheads' song)... next to the famous ULTRA... there was a sisig house right outside Citihomes, my first address in Metro Manila!!!... i remembered going to the ULTRA gym, pretending to be a national athlete (i was thinking athletics, but the guard thought i was a fencer), with former national athlete ronard john... he would help me with my bench press and would pick up a pair of pants from my closet... he would relate (sad) stories of being in the national team with meager budget, and of defeating multi-millionaire athletes like david buenavacz... as an armyman, he was deployed in mindanao and gave first-hand account of a real war... chilling... and as he survived his battle, mine was just beginning...

reincarnation

no... i dont believe in reincarnation...

but what's happening is almost beyond belief, reincarnation of events exactly as it was years ago...

in the beginning of my journey, i was given a senior who does not know more than me... i do all the legwork and he gets all the credits... so i quit, and started the journey again somewhere else...

next, i was deceived of colorful words as empty as white... left in the middle of an arena with lions to fend... i remembered daniel, keeped the faith... until i met a prophet who would take me out of the dungeon (or so i thought...)

the prophet was brilliant and many believed him... but i dont understand why his lies were important... and left me with a wandering, wondering flock... it's not that i cant take care of them, but the prophets' word are so ingrained in their veins that i cant purify them without hurting them too much... so i quit again and crossed the seas and mountains... hoping to find that noble who would take me under his wings...

and like the beginning of my journey, a senior no better than me, i do all the legwork and he reaps the praises...

and like the middle of my journey, colorful words which fed me to the lions...

and like the last part of my journey, will leave me a wandering, wondering flock with impurities in their blood much worse than my previous flock...

"what goes around, comes around..." - alicia keys

have a blessed Rahmadan you all...

writing in random

writing in random...
half-filled glasses and conceited bosses... the number 3 everywhere i look as if reminding me of "something"...
stripes and checkered and no connections...
green and blue is nothing new...
long standing dilemma with endless choices...
running in circles and reconcilable differences...
all the same points to one thing...
people will never be satisfied with the wealth they have now...

my beloved Son

and a voice came from the heavens," You are My beloved Son, with You I am well pleased." ~Mark 1:11
was a part of the gospel reading on my birthday last 1/11...
i was awed, it was like someone talking straight to my heart. a message so well-placed that it seems so ordinary but for a certain person reading it would mean differently.
with that expectation, what can we do to please Him. in an everlasting cycles of life every option has been isolated and studied upon, every turn is being criticized, every decision has been analyzed, what's left out there? is there even a music that has not been created, or an art piece that has not been thought about?
at a very early age we already know what is pleasing to Him, it's true that whatever we can learn, we already learned when we were at kindergarten...

1st of May

"when i was small and Christmas trees were tall, we used to laugh while others used to play...
don't asked me why, but time has passed us by, someone else moved in from far away..."

reminiscing is fascinating, it brings us to our comfort zones and dwelling there in a second seems to give us "something" to look forward to... that is until you question the pasts.

questioning the past "could" be a mistake or as a cliche "skating on thin ice", more likely than not you'll get stuck into a cold hole and will freeze you. Freeze you in a certain point of time, detached you from reality and blur your vision.
Now, while writing this blog, it is inclining me to connect reminiscing as a form of entertainment

mimpi di siang bolong (~thanks ike) means day-dreaming in bahasa indonesia

coconut butter cookies

i wrote down these ramblings in my office scratch pad... maybe after watching "slumdog millionaire", but maybe it's because that i've seen this situation so many times and up until now i still can't figure out the proper response. here it goes...
"...in a moment your faith hangs on to some insignificant person in your life. you are not even friends and you don't care about each other, but, at that specific time, your happiness and your whole life, including that of your love ones hangs on the simple decision of that insignificant person. how do you fight that? just shows everything is already written..."

lal

i had always been ranting about how i am satisfied with my career and that i could do whatever i wanted to and that i have tried every level as an office worker but then some things would challenge my pathetic mind once again. working with the indians means dealing with a lot of politics, really a lot. as the newest guy, they either take me as a threat to their job security or maybe in a more realistic sense, a newbie that knows nothing. once some colleagues asked me to do editing of a document by straightening out the alignment of figures, i just smiled at them (in my mind: are you guys crazy asking me to do that?), went back to my desk and continue browsing the net. i was waiting for them to send me the files, but it didnt came and the leader change my assignment.
once again i failed in a humility test, which i believed is the topic for this moment of my life now...
lal, is a hindi word meaning "red"

a silent heart

We wonder why unexpected things happen to good men, but then the Lord's mysterious ways were never understood. One thing I'm sure though, the Lord loved him and wants our loved one to be with Him. He didn't left us behind, God has trusted him so much that God let him went ahead of us to prepare our places there.
He had lived in the presence of his family with abundant love but even bigger is the love that he has given to the family. A humble man with a simple faith, a husband with solid commitment, a father with selfless caring, a brother with unspoken loyalty, a generous friend and a ninong who guides with purity in his heart.
We will continue your dreams. God speed...