*sigh*

i've never been to the ofc for more than 2 weeks already.... somehow, the starbucks in that ayala branch taste a little different from other starbucks *sigh*

i'll be home for Christmas.... never got to see my dad, mom and sis for 365 days!!! i will sleep in my "real" room, i will wake up in the smell of fresh garlic in my fried rice, i will hear the silent breeze of the sea everyday, i will see old places which i can only dreamt and think of, i will once again taste my mom and dad's dishes where they always argue whom cooks better and i will always answer both are great cooks and not to forget my sis' special dish, the sauteed mushrooms which until now, im still trying to like... hehehe

manila will be turned off in my life, at least for some days.....

SCAM PI

i have not updated this blog for almost a month despite me logging in to internet almost everyday...
yesterday, i thought of updating this but then i remebered i have to make an abstinence in logging in to the net

well, anyway the SCAMPI B me and Karthik is doing has been really good. it even led for Karthik to say that, "for the first time in a long while, im actually enjoying this SCAMPI"

i have so much learning and having fun as well... i am convinced that this is the work i really wanted to do but considering the number of people who are already "working" on CMMI, i guess i'm a little late

11-11

coincedence?

today is my grandpa's bday (dad's dad)
11-11
my other grandfather (mom's dad) bday is
1-1
my birthday
1-11

well, i started writing this blog at 11:11 am
still gives me some cold feelings thinking about this...

may God bless their souls...

come to think of it... K is the 11th letter in the alphabet, no wonder it is my fave letter since i was a kid... *wink* :-p

missing you

i dont have the right reasons for acting this way
the earth passes on no other route
for me
the knight's shield yielded not to a sharp blade

a riddle and the code are unforgiving
let it be
i wish i was a child, innocent and happy

guin bilin guid kakon nga mag pakabu'ot
ag wa man ako it guin pangayo nga iba kundi maging masadya
wa ako kasayod kung tama ra
pero mahidlaw eon guid ako kimo
kunta masadya ka kung siin ka man, ag ha'eong guid pirmi

steady lang

been really into some tough times these past few weeks...
some people really dont know what "fair" means and they would always try to take advantage or worst abuse people around them who are really innocent.
i would always think that i would hurt these people :
physically, but it would heal soon that they would even forget it happened
emotionally, but they are too thick-faced that they are numb already
financially, but my conscience tells me that other people are still depending on them

then the brownman revivals' album title reminded to take it easy....
everyone who has sinned will be punished, in His own time...
but i will not just sit here and not do anything...
we'll see...
steady lang kapatid...

better late than much more later

i dont know what's got into me and i wasn't able to update my blog for the more than 2 weeks! i wasn't even able to post bday greetings for these people whom i consider my family...
so sorry guys, but belated happy birthday!

October
4 - Jahnica
9 - Pot
10 - Leah Mae
17 - Kristian Red
18 - my sis Jahren! (so, sorry sis... we weren't able to talk in the phone)

huh?

wings of mercury
angel venus
saint earth
rogue mars
jupiter's soul
winds of saturn
uranus east
neptune nights
pluto rains
death of the sun
moon's candle of dream

penang

i just like the place, it reminds me of my hometown... laid-back, great food, nice weather kind of a place. i think it's the only place in malaysia where you can get pork sate!
anyway, maybe im just trying to excite myself because i might be assigned there anytime soon and i hope it will not bore me to death.

this is my 14th post, and i didnt realize my 13th post were spoilers (actually not really good stuff... hehehe there i go again with 13) and oh, i forgot mention who the half-blood prince is in the latest potter book, it's not other than prof. severus prince snape the headmaster of Salazar Slytherin's house... hehehe

it's around10:41 and we are still in the office...

hp fan? dont read!

as the 3 other books of hp has been made to movies....
here comes the spoilers for the next 3 books...

4
harry entered in the tri-wizard tournament because of voldemort
he won anyway, and become engaged with cho
cedric died, harry escaped voldemort again
hermione had a short-lived romance with viktor

5
harry saved arthur (ron's dad)
sirius was proven innocent of the crimes
albus and voldermort faced-off for the first time
DA (dumbledore's army) was formed
sirius was killed by her death eater cousin (although i think he will come back)
harry and cho broke up, so did hermione and viktor

6
harry and ginny fell in love
hermione and ron might be next
no sign of voldemort this time
snape killed albus dumbledore

horcruxes

since yesterday i've been reading hp and the half-blood prince and im on chapter 23 titled horcruxes. im not really a fan but i've read the other 5 books as well (thanks sarj!) and so i have this inkling to finish this sixth book as well...
according the j.k. rowling horcrux is a the word used for an object in which a person has concealed part of their soul. then albus and harry went on to discuss how to destroy voldemort(im not afraid to mention his name either *wink*), where they have to destroy all the horcruxes created by voldemort and how albus was inisisting that harry has the greatest weapon of all... "the ability to love". (back in the 1st book, lily saved harry with a love spell or something that destroyed voldemort)

so it still boils down to the greatest inspiration of any novel, play, movie or any other form of literature and consequently all forms of art. love.
albus says it the most powerful weapon and i completely agree with him. even the writers of the dead sea scrolls and the torah talked about how JC has preached about it, and even reduced the 10 commandments to 2 which is all about... exactly, love.

wow, i sound so romantic fool... but it just confirms my beliefs...

i now knew why j.k. rowling is such a big hit... Love and Magic!

of dreams and sundays

current music: dreams - cranberries
current mood: dreaming

yeah, what if im day dreaming at night... should i call it night dreaming?
talk to pot about dreaming and what if's...
sometimes, i like to think about my life and view it from afar... like watching a movie.
i like it coz i can add some scenes i like and i would delete some that i dont want...
then reality bites, hehehe... it's my life afterall whether i like it or not... as john constantine said: "He works in mysterious ways, some people like it, some don't.... but that's the way He works." (or something like that)
some more coincidences, same dreams, same plans but alas... different paths, different lights...

life has always twisted ways to teach us lessons otherwise it would be monotonous and boring.
so we kept on guessing, trying to figure out what are we going to get next... (it seems forrest gump has really a point there... about life in chocolate boxes...)
sometimes we do get what we expected to get but many times also we are caught off guard.
no matter how great we planned things out, almost all of the time it would either come up short or over of our expectation... and eventhough i prefer the latter it is not always the case.
or maybe it is why standards are sets in order to anticipate our next move, i find it ironic... don't you?

how i wish i was still a kid playing around seafdec... or a college student trying to get a ride to la granja... never knowing what to expect or only focused on the next exam period.

next song: sunday morning - marooon 5
i always looked up to sundays for rest and recreation... but not today, i have to go to clients place and work... then go back home to work some more... bayani ba? hehehe

last song playing before posting this: F-U (by Bamboo)
"F-U! and your friends..."

baker's dozen

as far as i can remember this number is a jinx for me.... i always get uneasy whenever i have to face this number...
just an example: i once used jersey no. 13 in a basketball tourney... i got injured midway through the tournament and worst we lost in the championship game (maybe by 13 points, i don't remember)
then recently, i got a final social visit stamp in the immigration on the 13th page of my passport which was released last sept. 13...
we live in the 13th floor of a condo, our office is in door number W-10-13 and one of my client's office is at 13th floor....
i dont believe in these stuff but it is annoying and sometimes it gets under my skin...

what they say:
The early Romans thought 13 was a sign of death and destruction. And according to Norse mythology, if you sat 13 people down at a table, that was very unlucky. (Why? At a banquet of 12 people in Valhalla, an intruder –number 13 – caused the death of Balder’s son Odin). The number of people at the last supper of Christ and the twelve Apostles confirmed the superstition about the number 13 in witches were believed to meet in “covens” that hat 13 members.

Many hotels have no room 13, and many buildings have no 13th floor. Next time you fly, see if there is a row 13 in the plane. As date, 13 isn’t too lucky either, especially when it falls on Friday. That was always thought of as a really bad day to start a new project or to begin a ship voyage. Movers, doctors and dentists say their business drops on Friday the 13th. The good news is that a maximum of three Friday the 13th can occur in a year, and sometimes there is just one.

.... and yes, a baker's dozen is 13 pieces sometime called devil's dozen

droom

dreams are not real... it is almost, but not quite...
i wonder if dreams are our desire or despair... destiny or delirium... death or destruction...
nah... dreams are just dream... at times dream can be achieved in real life often times it can't...
they remain as our ultimate freedom of expression, our deepest hope and wishes.. it is always nice coz if it's not we call it in another term...
nightmare is not the opposite of dream, it is just simply the absence of goodness in our dreams...
it's already 1:11 AM...

pot, i hope your dreams will not remain in that realm...

stolen

stuff i stole from kai:
music of aimee mann, belly, frou frou, dishwalla, etc...
sandman
slippers and shoes (ok, i'll have to replace them)
will & grace and friends
quotes (as she insisted)
itunes, friendster, blogger and other online stuff
tied neckties
coke and black coffee (",)
glances
body scrub
apple products
sliced roti canai
international driver's license
soft batch cookies
shaved head
ringgit to dollars
work attitude
"maaf"
go swimming
cigarette case
starbucks americano
so tidy with wires
patience to wash dishes (includes cleaning the stove)
nivea lotion

just to name a few.... thanks for not minding... :p

some things are better left unsaid... other's are best to be said

it's just me, at times i may blurt out some stupid words at wrong timings....
she wouldn't said a thing, i'll be too cautious not to say anything too....
sorry about this morning kai.... get well very soon....

insanity

i've been keeping some sort of scribbled notes ala cruel intentions (but there's nothing cruel about this one). i named it "insanity" and i happen to come across it tonight and i have written on one of the pages this...

What you gonna do? What you gonna do when they come for you?
- face them like a man, accept the responsibility of actions and bear the consequences…
- “be not afraid” said andreij jawien. listen to him, follow what path he has taken…
- continue the struggle but achieve better result the next day

hmmmm.... maybe i'll blog everything one these days....

free will vs. destiny part 2?

i thought there would a free will vs. destiny part 2...
then i came across this article that completed the equation of some sorts....
excerpts from the article...

"Free will is an important concept, yet it is a bit of an illusion. Everything that actually happens is, in some way, in accord with the grand plan of the Divine Will. Thus, every action that a person can actually carry out must necessarily fit within the scope of the Divine Plan. Any actions which are not in accord with the Divine Plan will not be carried out, and no matter how much one plans or schemes, such plans will be thwarted."

i especially like the last line of the article... read on... tell me what you think... (",)
http://wahiduddin.net/views/divine_play.htm

hmmmm... you really sure there is no word between free will and destiny? how about divine will?

YESHU'


i'd really wanted to get this tattoed on my upper left arm....

Happy Birthday Mama Mary! Sweet Mother of Jesus

free will vs. destiny

this never ceases to amaze me
come to think of it, i started to contemplate on this only lately

free will - i think it is one of God's greatest gift to us people - the g.o.a.t (greatest of all time) of course was dying on that cross
no matter what you did no one is to blame but yourself.....

does "free will" then can be compared to the water that was used to wash pilate's hands?


destiny - it is already written before it was even spoken (thanks for the sandman kai)
forces of nature that cannot be stopped even if you avoid it
no matter what you do, you will end up with what you are destined to be...

did judas iscariot then has free will or was destined to be doomed?

hmmmm.... did i wrote this lines freely or was destined to be?
is there a word between free will and destiny? (delirium could've asked this)

redemption song

emancipate yourself from mental slavery..... - bob marley

the worst crime is faking it..... - kurt cobain

you may say im a dreamer, but im not the only one i hope someday you'll join us and world will live as one..... - john lennon

it's the music that inspires me, and the trinity above have long all gone.... cancer, suicide and assasination

"where there is music, there can be no evil" - chinese proverbs

"when you sing, you pray twice" - sabi nila sa YFC

sing with me...