existentialism

music: mr. clay - bamboo

"..i'm stronger now, stronger now than i was before ... there's no way you can hurt me..."

it's funny but i dont want to start this blog with any quotes or any line from a song or a poem but i just can't ignore the musing playing and the message it is saying... as if it were talking to me and i have to talk back...

sometimes in a journey you really had to take step back in order to move forward and in a very competitive and material world it is hard to accept that you are actually taking a step backward.

i want to believe i am an existentialist, i believe that everyone has to be responsible for their own actions and draw their own destinies...
that's why sometimes i had to personally experience a thing in order to believe to it completely...
that's why i was questioning free will and destiny and ended up with the answer about divine will...
that's why i had to take a step back and think about what i really believe in and what i wanted to do about it...

as blaise pascal wrote that without a God, life would be meaningless and miserable. people would only be able to create obstacles and overcome them in an attempt to escape boredom. and these victories would ultimately become meaningless, since people would eventually die.

come to think of it, am i really that bored that i create my own problems (obstacles) and then hurdle them in order to feel victorious?

really, i wish i was a child whose faith is the greatest of all. when you ask a child if he/she wants to go out and eat outside say mcdonald's for example, they would immediately say yes... without even bothering to think if they have money to pay for it, or what would other people say about them... they trust you that they would be taken cared off...

but iam not... i've got to be a better man :-)

things may not be exactly as i wished them to be, but i'm accepting it...

music: patience - guns n roses

need i say more about lyrics of the song? i've got it from the title itself... (",)